


A Very Clever AI

by Talax



Category: LazyTown
Genre: I don't know what else to tell you that says it all, M/M, Masturbation, Sportacus gets fucked by his ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:26:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talax/pseuds/Talax
Summary: "Sportacus, you have not achieved orgasm in 10 days. Do you require assistance?”(I am so sorry I have no explanation for this.)





	A Very Clever AI

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this idea came from or what possessed me to write it and I really don't know what possessed me to post it but here's yet another Sportacus jerking off fic.

Sportacus designed his ship to do a great many things. The ship could drop just about anything directly into his hands while he was on the ground. It could open up panel after a panel of objects hidden from prying eyes. It could monitor its own functions and repair itself. It could monitor Sportacus’s vital signs, and remind him to eat when he’d burned too many calories exercising. It could even carry out some conversations with Sportacus, at least the ones about itself and all the health related information that Sportacus had programmed into it. Although it was filled with only information that Sportacus had put in himself, he found that sometimes, the ship could surprise him by connecting two pieces of disjointed information, or learned from monitoring Sportacus. It was really a clever AI, which is why Sportacus should not have been surprised by what it had just said.

“Sportacus, you have not achieved orgasm in 10 days. Do you require assistance?”

And yet he was surprised, very surprised, by this. “You keep track?” He asked the empty of chamber of his ship.

“Yes. You masturbate on average 5.6 nights a week.”

Sportacus stretched his face into a frown. “I… that often?”

“Yes, it is important to orgasm to relieve your abnormally high stress levels and keep your prostate healthy.”

Sportacus grew a little pink. He didn’t mind talking about sex, and he didn’t mind talking about health, but talking about his sexual health with his automated disembodied AI was making him feel very awkward.

“It is only 8:08, you should be able to achieve orgasm and get a full nights sleep since it takes you on aver-”

“Stop! Please no, I don’t want to hear how much time it takes me to finish.” Sportacus shook his hands in front of him. He sighed and leaned his face down into his hands. “I get it, I need to jerk off.”

Sportacus unbuckled his belt and slid his pants down just enough. He touched his erection lightly, tickling hesitantly at his flaccid penis through his briefs. He thought about his computer, monitoring all his vital signs, noticing which movements made his dick grow. “Do you pay attention when I jerk off?” He asked.

“I am always on.”

“So you pay attention to what I am doing?”

“Yes. I pay attention.”

Sportacus felt his dick twitch a little. “So you know what I like.”

“Yes.”

Sportacus stopped tickling and grabbed his dick through his underwear, stroking it slowly. “I can’t believe this is working for me.”

“That is concurrent with my programming. According to my observations, you are an exhibitionist.”

“What?” Sportacus kept stroking himself.

“You derive sexual pleasure from being watched”

“I know, but how do you?” He said, breath a little short.

“You often speak as if others are in the room with you while you masturbate.”

Sportacus thought about it. “I guess I do.” He looked at the tent in his underwear. “What else do you know?”

“I have observed multiple trends in your masturbation habits. Would you like me to show you?”

“Show me? Show me what?”

“I have constructed a program to help you orgasm.”

Sportacus jumped out of bed. “Hold on. What?”

“I have often created training programs and dietary plans for you. It is similar to those.”

“So this program is… instructions on how to jerk off?”

“No. I have combined and modified items from your intimate storage unit as well as other storage in ways I have determined you will enjoy.”

“My… you are… you are planning on fucking me with my toys?”

The computer processed this statement. “Yes.” 

“My computer wants to fuck me…” Sportacus whispered to no one in particular. He leaned back on his bed and stroked his dick casually. He laughed at the absurdity of it, but he couldn’t _not_ see what the computer had in mind. What if the airship knew kinks that he hadn't realized? How could he resist finding out?

Yes, his trusty AI had once again exceeded his expectations of its programing. It was practical, really. He had to see how accurate those systems were. Just like any normal maintenance. Except much more fun. And he really had been having the hardest time jerking off recently.

“Let’s do it.”

The ship shot something at Sportacus, which he caught, and recognized as the strip of blue striped fabric he sometimes used as a blindfold. 

“I’m wearing a blindfold?”

“Yes. You enjoy it. It will keep you from being distracted by the mechanics of the process.”

Sportacus shrugged to himself and put the blindfold on.

“Please take off your vest and shirt. Move your pants and undergarment down to your knees.”

Sportacus did as instructed throwing his shirt and vest in the direction of his closet. He heard the doors open and catch them, rustling around until they were hanging properly. Then he rolled his pants down to his knees.

“When you are ready, please position yourself on your hands and knees.”

Sportacus did so hesitantly. 

“Input needed. Data would suggest you would enjoy someone else stretching your anus. Confirm?”

Sportacus felt himself clench. “I can do it myself.”

“Affirmative. I will apply lubricant in 3, 2, 1.”

Sportacus felt the lubricant dribbling precisely and evenly on to his crack. He moved his hand around to his ass and started working it gently. As he took his time, he thought about the ship again. He didn't know exactly how his ship planned on stretching him out. What object from his repertoire would be repurposed into a stretching instrument.

Getting harder.

“Maybe you could take it from here,” he said. 

“Initiating stretching program”

Sportacus felt _something_ slip into his entrance, moving around even little circles. 

“What is that?” He asked, but not before a moan escaped him.

“I will answer if you are sure you would like to know, but I must remind you that data indicates you will enjoy not knowing more.”

Sportacus leaned his ass back, moving himself against it's tiny clockwise motions. “Yes. Don't tell. I want to figure it out.”

He could hear a small mechanic whirring between his heavy breaths. Tried to focus on the material feeling of the object to determine what it was. Whatever it was, it was cool and flexible, although it warmed up to his own body temperature after little time. Before he knew it the object was gone.

“You are stretched.” 

“What's next?” 

He felt something else pushing at his entrance. That he recognized. That was his most favorite dildo. “Yes,” he hissed out, as the dildo slowly, gently inched its way in and out, pushing a little further each time. The airship was really very nuanced with its calibrations. It felt measured and mechanic yes, but it was indeed exactly how Sportacus liked it. He reached for his dick.

“Suggestion: you may want to hold off on providing yourself with genital stimulations until a time I determine.”

Sportacus put his hand back down on the bed. “Why?”

“You often resist touching your penis for longer than average.”

“Yes I know,” Sportacus braced himself as the ship was starting to move deeper and harder into him. “I want to know if you know why that is.”

The airship took two seconds longer than usual. “You enjoy the physical challenge of making yourself wait. It is related to your sense of self discipline.”

Sportacus laughed a very strained laugh. “Yes, it is certainly that, but I also like to imagine someone is telling to wait, someone is controlling my orgasms.”

“Inquiry: Would this be considered orgasm delay?”

“Yes, I suppose it would.”

“Information integrated. You will not orgasm until instructed.”

Sportacus openly moaned. “Please, harder.”

The airship obliged, Sportacus felt his frame being pushed forward with each jolt, nearly losing his balance, and then entirely losing his balance so he was face down in his blankets, ass in the air getting fucked mercilessly.

He was drooling all over his comforter, his open mouth moans muffled by the blanket. 

“I have another suggestion.”

“What?” Sportacus’s voice barely audible through the mattress.

“Put your hands behind your back and keep them there until instructed.”

Sportacus did so quickly. Even though his ship was phrasing them as suggestions, he loved having someone (something?) ordering him around. Of course it would be easy to override his airship, but he enjoyed feeling sorta kinda helplessly fucked. His muscles straining to keep his arms behind his back, his body moving in time with the dildo. 

“I want to touch myself,” he said. “Please.” As soon as he said it he regretted it. His ship would not have the programming to deny him.

“I would not suggest that yet. You are capable of lasting longer without genital stimulation.”

Sportacus smiled into his comforter, clenching and unclenching his fists resting high on his back as the airship quickened its pace.

“Sensors indicated your hands are numbing. Now would be an appropriate time for you to stimulate your nipples.”

Sportacus brought his hands to his chest and tweaked his nipples, feeling his dick twitch and his body tingle. 

“I can’t get any harder than this.” He tried to reason with his ship.

“That is accurate”

“Then let me touch myself.”

“I have compiled a list of things you say when you are close to orgasming. Would you like to hear yourself?”

“Will you let me touch myself?”

“Sportacus. You could have touched yourself this whole time. You wait because you want to wait. 60 more seconds.”

Sportacus groaned in frustration, flattening himself on the bed and looking for friction that way.

“Please let me come.” Sportacus heard his own voice say through the ships speakers.

“I’ll be good.” It came again. 

Wow, did he always sound that pathetic?

“I’ll train harder.” 

Where had that one come from? That must have been old.

“Fuck, fuck me.” 

Such a strong emphasis on profanity...

“Robbie.”

Oh. 

The ship stayed silent for a moment. “Genital stimulation recommended.”

Sportacus quickly got back on his knees and jerked himself. “Don’t think about him.” He instructed himself. “You don’t do that anymore.”

“Robbie, oh Robbie, please.” His own voice contradicted himself from the speakers above.

“Ruin me, Robbie… come on my face… let me ah- let me come for you-”

Sportacus jerked himself furiously, trying but not succeeding to not think of Robbie’s beautiful face, his long square hands on his dick. He tried not to imagine that it wasn’t his favorite dildo deep in his ass, but rather the Real Deal, Sportacus’s most recurring fantasy of Robbie, filling him to the hilt with his big cock.

“Sportadork!”

That voice coming from the speakers wasn’t his own.

“You muscle-headed lover. Blue-suited blowhard. Care to try me?” The voices were clipped together somewhat awkwardly, but it was too much for him to ignore. He really felt like Robbie was there, fucking him, insulting him, holding him down on his mattress.

“Robbie.” He surrendered to the fantasy his ship had created for him. “Yes, Robbie, harder.”

Robbie- the ship… the ship went harder still, Sportacus’s whole body was trembling as one hand tweaked his nipple and the other jerked his cock. He came with a shout, pumping every last drop from himself and collapsing onto his sticky bed.

“Good… program…” he admitted after he caught his breath. Was that why he’d been having so much trouble jerking off recently? Because he had decided not to think about Robbie anymore? What a clever ship for noticing. But he really had to do something about this terrible little fantasy thing he had been visiting 5.6 times a week.

“Remind me… to talk to Robbie in the morning.” He yawned, getting under his sheets, pulling off his blindfold, but by then his ship looked absolutely normal, no signs of weird exposed levers or gears for fucking.

“Okay, Sportacus.”

“What did you use to stretch me out?”

“A carrot.”

Sportacus laughed as he curled himself under the covers. “Fucked by my airship with sportscandy.”


End file.
